So This Isn't Creepy At All
by Edward's Josie Black
Summary: Two members of the Professional Stalker’s Club gain insider knowledge on how to infiltrate the home of their stalkee, one CM Punk. Oh, dear…It's all in good fun, but will someone slip up? For Rhiannon Leigh Black


**A/N: I've owed Robin this one for a rather long time now…it's not done, but I figured I'd post what I have finished. I hope you enjoy! I don't own any of the WWE. Or Robin, because that would be creepy…not quite "The Horror of Our Love" creepy, but still creepy.**

**~Chapter One: An Adorable Townhouse~**

In a Chicago alley, two girls waited. Both had long brown hair and green eyes, although one had curly hair while the other's fell nearly to her waist in defined waves. Neither looked exceptionally out-of-place; they wore black hoodies and jeans--which had been a complete coincidence. The fall air was cold on their cheeks.

"I'm calling our informant," said the one who had been pacing anxiously. "I just want to make absolutely certain…"

She pulled out her phone and hit the correct speed dial number. Fortunately, he picked up promptly.

"Hello?" he asked quietly.

"Hey," she said. "It's Leesie."

"I know; my phone told me so."

"You put my name in your PHONE? Idiot…what if one of the others needs to borrow it and sees?"

"It'll be fine. So what'd you need?"

"Are you sure he's gone?"

"Positive. In fact, I'm looking right at him."

"Grr…I hate you."

"Look, just…don't burn the place down, okay? I'm starting to think this is a bad idea."

"You know you can trust us, Hun," she assured him. "We just want to have a look around. We don't want to leave the presents on his porch--they might get stolen!"

"Yeah, but I just realized--I don't even know you."

"Yes you do, geniusface. You met our founders at Pizza Hut after a Raw taping."

"But I haven't--"

"You'll meet us next week. This is a test to make sure we can truly trust you. And you passed," she said with a smile.

"Wait…I'm going to meet you guys?"

"Everyone who can make it for Halloween."

"So _that's_ why you wanted to know where we were staying!"

"Indeed."

"Okay, well…all right. Just, please--"

"We love Punk, sweetheart. We're not going to turn his home into a disaster area. We wouldn't want him to think any ill of us. We're stalkers, not common robbers. And even if we were…there's nothing you can do about it without incriminating yourself. You're the one who told us where the key's hidden."

"Dammit."

"Call us if he, I dunno, leaves suddenly to come back here."

"Will do."

"Thanks. You're the best."

"Does this mean I get more presents?"

"Of course it does."

"Awesome."

"Okay, so, I'm totally wasting perfectly good stalking time speaking to you."

"Whoops…sorry."

"See you later."

"Mmhmm."

"And good luck tonight!"

"Thanks, sweetheart."

She hung up and turned to her companion, Robin, who stood. Leesie grinned brightly at her.

"He says it's clear."

"He wants more presents, doesn't he?"

"Yep."

"Weirdo."

"Just a little…Shall we go in?"

"No, let's just sit out here in the alley 'til he comes back."

"Hey…sarcasm is _my _thing!"

The taller woman picked up her bag.

"Come on…let's go."

Leesie nodded and followed suit

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"He's sure there aren't any security cameras?" Rainne asked to be sure.

"Positive. We should be able to get the key and walk right in with no trouble at all."

"Awesome."

The pair walked around to the porch of the adorable townhouse belonging to Phil Brooks, known to many as CM Punk. Leesie took a moment to coo over how "_cute_" the building was, while Robin made an I-line for the large bay window. She groped around in the flowerbox for the key and eventually found it.

"Got it!" she announced triumphantly.

Leesie emerged from her reverie to hop about happily with her fellow stalker.

"I can't believe we're seriously about to go into his _house_!" she squealed, then laughed. "Wow, that wasn't fangirlish at all…"

"Of course not," Robin laughed lightly. "We should probably get inside before the neighbors notice that we're a bit psychotic."

"Yeah…maybe."

Carefully, Robin unlocked the door and pushed it open. The two wrestling fans stood still for a few seconds just staring inside at the place in which their beloved CM Punk lived. Robin, first to recover, ushered Leesie inside after her. The younger woman closed the door behind them before letting out a squeal of joy that made her companion jump. Before she joined in. The two ran around the spacious living room joyously for awhile before both pulled out cameras and started snapping photos.

"I can't believe we're here!" Leesie exclaimed, coming off slightly strangled.

"Remind me to hug our dear informant when we see him," Robin said as she flopped onto Punk's couch, grinning rapturously.

"Of course. That man…ohhh, we're going to have to make him some cookies."

"Definitely."

Robin dug around in her bag and produced a video camera, which she promptly turned on.

"So," she began, as she panned around the room, "here we are in the Chicago townhouse--"

"The ADORABLE townhouse!" Leesie added.

"Yeah, whatever…the 'adorable' townhouse of Phil Brooks."

"Yes, kids," Leesie said, as Robin focused the camera on where she stood by the fireplace, "we have infiltrated the home of CM Punk, owner of the most distracting rear end in sports entertainment."

"Oh, the shenanigans we're about to get into…" Robin trailed off suggestively.

"Indeed," agreed Leesie with a mischievous grin. "But our hero is due back later this evening, so there's not much time. Let the snooping begin!"

**Coming up…the stalkers pick out some mementos and raid the fridge.**


End file.
